Halfway There, and Weird Thoughts

I'm sitting in "the chair," getting chemo treatment 4 of 8.  I'll be halfway done with this part of the journey in about 2 hours.  The drug that I start in 2 weeks is supposed to be much easier.  I'll take easier.  Although, once she got my headaches and sleeplessness under control, I can't say I have all that much to complain about on THIS set of drugs.

I also went to the plastic surgeon today for a tissue expander fill.  He only did 60 cc again because it's been a month and it would have hurt me too much to do more than that.  It hurts pretty dang bad, anyway.  This may be a day that I leave the infusion center, go home, pop a Valium and a pain pill and go to sleep.  Anyway, he says that if I go more often, it shouldn't hurt as bad, so we're only waiting two weeks this time.

I said this on Facebook, but I'm really laughing at myself about this.  Any time I go to ANY doctor, the nurse takes me back, takes my vitals, and says, "change into this gown, the doctor will be with you shortly."  I KNOW that I'm going to sit in that cold room for at least 20 minutes, yet I scramble to change as quickly as I possibly can.  Why?  What's the hurry?  I'm just going to sit there, feeling vulnerable, legs dangling from that paper covered table/bench/bed thing for what feels like DAYS.

I think I'm worried he'll walk in and see something.  See what?  You know, the same thing he's going to make me show him anyway!  What's the point of the speedy-change freak out?  I've been going to doctor appointments by myself for 25 years.  I have NEVER been walked in on, or even ALMOST been walked in on while changing.  How many more years will it take for me to slow down and take my time?

I wonder if they have a set amount of time that they wait, in case someone is a slow changer?  Does the nurse make a note of the time she walked out, so the doctor can wait the appropriate amount of time before coming in?  How long could even the slowest mover take to remove her shirt, remove her bra, put on a gown, and climb up on a paper covered table/bench/bed thing?  Two minutes?  Hmmm.  The things I ponder from the chemo chair.

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