Ready or Not

I only made it until 3:00 again today.  I get SO frustrated when I can't make it until 5:00.  By the same token, if I'd quit pushing it and leave around noon or 1:00, I could maybe come home, rest a bit, and then get some more work done from here.  As it is, I push as hard and as far as I can push and still safely drive the hour it takes me to get home, and by the time I get here, I can't move from the chair.

I did do dishes after an hour of rest, though.  There weren't all that many, but Kevin's been doing them almost exclusively, and I couldn't stand the thought of him coming home and seeing them dirty.  Too bad my kitchen is too small for a dishwasher.  Oh well, it's a 10 minute task to wash a sink full of dishes.  No biggie.  If one of the girls had been here, guess what SHE would have been doing.  LOL

Tomorrow is the day I have my first chemo treatment, if everything checks out with the oncologist.  I have an appointment with her at 9:30, and if she's happy with what she finds, I go straight downstairs for the first treatment.  They'll go half-speed the first time, watching closely for any bad reactions, so we'll be there for HOURS.

Kevin is going with me for the first treatment, just in case any of the aforementioned reactions happen, and after that I can go alone.  If I feel like I want company for future treatments, Natalie can go with me, or Mom has offered if needed.  I'm pretty good at entertaining myself with my trusty laptop, though, so we'll see.  I'll just be so glad to get this first one out of the way.  My PDAS kicks in full-blast when it's something I haven't done before.

I know what will happen and what to expect.  I've researched, talked to others who have been through it, and researched some more.  I haven't done it yet, though.  After this time, I'll know what my new normal consists of.  The unknown will be known, and we'll move on.

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