One More Step

They called this afternoon.  I have an appointment with the oncologist on Thursday afternoon at 2:30.  That's when I'll find out what they want to do, medically.  Chemo?  Radiation?  Both?  Who knows?  I will know by Thursday evening.  After that, it'll be another appointment with the surgeon (early next week) to get our final game plan in place.

If I am to do chemo, I'll likely start nearly immediately.  WAH!  Yes, that is freaking me out more than the other stuff.  Yes, I know.  Yes, it will grow back.  Yes, I'll feel good again after.  Yes, I know.  Hell, I'll cry about what I want to, OK?  Today I cried because I won't get perfect attendance this year.  Stupid?  Yup.  I'm really proud of perfect attendance, and I'm looking for little things to freak out about, so I don't freak out about having cancer.  Later, I intend to cry over spilled milk.  Try to stop me.

OK, that made it sound like I'm crying non-stop.  That's not true.  I functioned at work JUST fine today.  I'm doing fine now.  There are just certain times that I need to cry.  Hell, let's keep it in perspective:  I cry at the Folgers Christmas commercials!  I cry at greeting card commercials.  I cry at sappy movies.  It's what I'm good at.

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